¿tu vas con chicos?
she asks me what feels sudden
i was happy until that momen.t
not thinking about it
drinking dutch beer in her white walled apartment
platicando, –
i reply instantaneous
too quickly,
then mutter con vergüenza
bueno, con chicas también, a veces,
no me importa-
as if it didn’t,
wasn’t responsible for the shaping of my eyelids,
the twisting of my body in skin,
my own coordinates on the map and those of each stranger dissolving into acquaintances,
dissolving into friends – mas or a menos;
conocido enough to love, but not to tell the whole story.

it’s easier if it doesn’t matter too much, all of that – my past and dreams, y lo que me duele el corazón.

for whatever reason i have found myself alive in latin america trying to swallow whole
the rusty copper of a heterosexual compass.

i don’t allow the truth to interrupt.
i take the bus,
chop tomatoes,
look the sun in the face
mostly gender my nouns correctly.

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